Thoughts

Another week's gone by. Been an okay week, what did I expect? My results have improved from last sem, goes to show that when I really want it, I can get it. I was pretty confident with the 3 subjs I scored in that I told my mom I got As for them before I got back my results(was trying to ask for some extra pocket money hehe). Actually, thinking about it, I'm glad I came to TP and studied business. At least I feel that I'm studying things that are gonna help me in my future and career. I learn stuff relating to how the real business world out there works. No regrets for choosing to be where I am today. Gonna work harder :) and then in year 2 I'll be a Marketing student and I hope it'll be a better year for me. No doubt it was hard being independent and trying to fit in and all(total change from sec school) but I know I'm gonna make it.

Relationships-wise it's been anything but peachy. I'm just really glad I managed to keep in close contact with a few of my closest friends. These special people stick by me through good and bad and I am who I am today because of them :) I believe at one point I almost lost them because I was so caught up with this thing called love. Suddenly things changed and we drifted apart, to top off the stress of the O's. They must have thought what a fool I was. Looking back, I do think I may have been a fool but I did what I did when I was put into my situation. I did the best I could but I think I still failed in being a good friend. It was only when we graduated and went to different schools did we start calling each other again, meeting up ocassionally and having the heart-to-hearts we used to have all the time. I guess it's because of our new change in life that it's human nature to need to come back to something we're familiar and comfortable with. I often wonder if it's too late to make it up to them, but I'm glad for the opportunity now to be the best bestfriend I can be! I'm lucky they did not leave but stood by me, cos that's what true friends do. Cos after so much that has happened, I know who my friends are and I'm very blessed to have friends like them :)

Things with Jeremy haven't been all too good either. Coming to a new school, new environment, new friends and coping with all these changes in our relationship. For me, it was a sort of awakening. There is a big world out there, and not just the two of us. I was so used to things being what they were in the past that I kinda became very depressed for a period of time. It was like I was seeing someone completely different from who I knew. I felt so lost and neglected, but I never seemd to get my feelings across to him right. There were misunderstandings and disagreements and nights where I cried myself to sleep. It was only when I plucked up the courage to pour out everything I felt did we sit down and talk things out. I'm just glad he isn't someone who just gives up on me or this relationship but is willing to listen when I'm ready to talk and make things better. I think that's how our relationship has grown so much. And the thing about expectations? I don't know anymore.

I'm now coping so much better with everything, pulling myself together and putting my energy into better use. I've come to realize 2 people in 1 relationship is still 2 different people with very different dreams and goals. Look at the lives we have ahead of us! To make it work we have to trust, support and understand each other. Give each other their own space, and at the same time knowing that if you were to need someone to be there, you know you have me.

Sometimes I wish things were back to the good old times but they will never come back.

Thanks for caring so much about me. I know I'm difficult at times but you never give up. I appreciate all the effort on your part :) You're someone I will cherish all my life and I love you the way I've never loved no other person before.

Things aren't and will never be perfect but I can make it to the best of my ability. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

I know this isn't like my typical post, but I needed to get things off my chest.

Feeling a little better now :]