i've never felt so down for quite some time already. i don't know, i just cannot help it. i know the reason myself. i guess it's kinda like the same feeling you get when a good friend betrays you. except this is quite complicated. like hello! life likes to play games with me sometimes. i woke up today feelin great. i didn't feel lethargic like how i normally would be. i was early for school. everything was going fine.

i don't know why he had to blow it up. i was just holding the box of jellybeans for goodness's sake. and i get detention and lectured for that. because i made someone lose face...

so, i heard mr ow talked to you today. what happened?
he saw me holding a box of jellybeans.
jellybeans?!

and i guess, i will never treat a teacher like a friend anymore. teachers just cannot be your friends. their job restricts them to do so.

and come on, so what if we're from 4e8? we're still normal people. and we definitely cannot be perfect. you know where the rivalry and hatred between classes comes from? it's from you people. you people who compare us with each other all the time. it's not just about expectations. and aren't there other better ways of motivating us, if that's your reason? the system. it totally sucks.

just 3 more months mah. self-control yeeboon. okay ah?

and realization hit me like a fat brick on the head.

and it's not that i don't realize my mistake, but i still think it's wrong for a teacher to confiscate a student's jellybeans. i just don't see the reason in it.

oh im really feeling veeeeery rebellious.

and please. there's absolutely nothing wrong with being emotional. SO QUIT HARPING ABOUT IT. girls may like to cry more than guys, but that's only because most guys hide their emotions behind their big fat egos. bottling it up inside just makes you feel worst(Oprah agrees), and you might end up with all the mental illnesses and probly get violent and then kill somebody. at least we know how to express ourselves. there's nothing to be ashamed about for crying. absolutely nothing. you're just makin a fool out of yourself.

big disgrace.

offense: possession of food in class

just look at the absurdity of that sentence.

feeling real low right now. and for all i know, someone else might be enjoying the beans right now. they're not cheap ok.

and then tomorrow? :(