first two weeks of school over just like that. poof. bham. wham. nothing particular has made me come to love this new year any more than i did from day one. lessons are pretty much a bore. and teachers aren't making things any better by constantly reminding us about the mock exams, DSA, O levels... yes they say stress gives you drive, keeps you moving. but who likes it. and with those horrid exams coming up, i guess my blog will be on another hiatus.

i know most people are already like, way past making new year resolutions but here i am, in the midst of january without any! that's pretty lousy huh. i guess hmm, i'm more of the kind of person who just lives life everyday as it is. wake up, oh, and get along with life. smile when i'm happy and cry when i'm sad. not that i'm taking life for granted or anything like that. it's kinda hard to explain, i'm just not the kind of person who keeps thinking into the future. the past yes, but future, hardly. guess what i want from life is just to have some simple dimple happiness. and yeah, just working my way towards that happiness every day.

let's click and rewind. year 2005 - the year i got overwhelmed with the whole crap of workload, crappy results, late nights. also the year many disagreements started coming up between my dad and his teenage daughter. the year i cried over the phone with my tutor. the year of the worst menstrual cramps i've ever had. the year of cold wars with my brother. the year of some not-so-nice misunderstandings. the year of dreaded parent-teacher meets. the year i got my first detention. the year i was made to stand in front of the whole school as punishment for what they supposedly call public humiliation. the year of the super ugly fringe haircut in june by mom's friend! the year yuleball died.. the year of goodbyes..

oh, that was just the bad part of it all.

how about that so-fun sec 3 camp, the SYF gold, the birthday lilies, birthday barbeques, truth or dares, the NEXT challenge... all the mad times we had hanging out and taking insane pictures with bras and colourful blankets and candy canes. the lazy hours spent just chatting and chatting the afternoon away. the lunchtimes at subway. KTV autumn festival night. the interclass debate which we took up just for the fun of it. camp OBS which was so memorable indeed! studying overnight at airports. shopping trips with my girlfriends. that special christmas day. spending new year with my friends. and of course, getting to know him. all that time spent with him. that is my cherry on top of all that ice cream!

i don't know, i just thought 2005 ended really nicely. i probably had the best holiday i've ever had. which is why coming back to school is quite a sad thing. but oh well, take it, bear it, i gotta stick with it. that's reality for me.

this year i'll just be glad if i can make it through whole. and i shall make a pact with myself, to stay away or stop thinking of people or things that can make me upset, or distract me. because i'm sure the stress will be enough and would already probably be too hot to handle.

probably what my aunt said is right. she said i should be more self-centred this year and think more me me me. for my future's sake and all. well i don't think i'll suddenly turn into this selfish monster but yeah, like i said i'd keep away from people who will affect me in any bad way. does that make sense?

as for new year resolutions.... to spend more time with all my friends, cause this will probably be our last year together no? i want to be a better daughter because i know i know... my parents do love me. to give my studies my all and hopefully start seeing some flying colours on my report card. and in the midst of all this, to shower him with all the love i can possibly give.

because well, loving someone and being loved is the best feeling in the world.